


Mad As Snow

by dsa_archivist



Category: due South
Genre: Drama, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1999-04-07
Updated: 1999-04-07
Packaged: 2018-11-11 01:07:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11138202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dsa_archivist/pseuds/dsa_archivist
Summary: Victoria returns...





	Mad As Snow

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Speranza, the archivist: this story was once archived at [Due South Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Due_South_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Due South Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/duesoutharchive).

MAD AS SNOW 

 

****

MAD AS SNOW 

By Jennifer

Wndhvrno60@aol.com

Rated PG

M/F

Warning: Icky Vicky warning....

 

****

OMNI HOTEL

ROOM 434

COME ALONE 

 

Benton Fraser stared the note. It was addressed to no one but was left on the counter in his kitchen. Nothing in his Spartan apartment was taken or touched. But he smelled her. She had to know that he'd know.

The Onmi... A fancy hotel. Just her style. It didn't surprise him that she would choose a place such as this. 

 

He paused before knocking on the door. He had to gather his courage, rally his resolve. _She shot Dief... she set me up... Ray..._

She opened the door and they're eyes locked. It was too strong. Their connection. He melted in her gaze but remained still.

She smiled, relief, tears forming in her beautiful eyes. "Ben." She whispered.

"Victoria." His voice was a low as hers. Yet he didn't move.

"I'm glad you came."

"Why are you here?"

"I needed to see. See for myself that you were alive and all right."

"I'll never be alright."

"Ben,"

"I suppose it's my turn now."

"Your turn?"

"How could you do it? How could you do that to me?"

She didn't bow her head. Not like he had done not long ago when she had asked the same question of him.

"I didn't know what else to do."

He sighed, shaking his head.

"Please," she said. "Come in."

"I don't think that's such a good idea."

"I come in peace, Ben. Please."

 

__

It's Ok, it's Ok. I promise I'll stay

Turn down the lights

I'll sit with you

We'll talk like we're friends

Tell me where this troubled love began

We can count the flakes

As it snows and snows

We can't get hurt

It melts and fades

Close your eyes 

They've all gone now

So it's safe with me

Was it only last week

We got stoned off the sky

Flew under the stars

Was it only last night

We made crazy promises

Mad as the snow

Close your eyes

They've all gone now

So it's safe with me tonight 

 

He removed his Stetson and entered the room, closing the door behind him. She had turned her back to him and was moving further into the room. Fancy room. Decorated in mauve and gray. 

"Relax, Ben, please." She could tell he was anxious. He had every right to be. She accepted that. "I have no gun. No weapons. No nothing."

"It's hard to relax, Victoria." He watched her move. 

She sighed and faced him. "I see your image, you know. Your face... when he shot you. I'll never forget it. It haunts me."

"You put a gun in my face, Victoria. I believe your words were, 'I should have shot you'."

"I wouldn't have shot you. You know that. It's why you faced me. You can control your anger, Ben. It doesn't best you like the rest of us."

He tossed his Stetson on the bed. "I suppose I do. But that doesn't erase the memory. My back healed. My heart never will."

"What about Meg Thatcher?"

Meg...

"Pardon?"

"I'm not without resources Ben."

"Are you spying on me?"

"I guess you could call it that."

"Why? Still plotting my demise?"

"I could kill you now."

"Too easy, Victoria. I expect it now."

"I deserve that."

"Don't do that."

"Do what?"

"Agree with me!"

"But you're right."

He stopped moving, his distance from her secured.

"I can't make it right. _WE_ can't make it right. It will always be here, for both of us. We destroyed each other, Ben. But now, maybe..."

"No."

"You were going with me. After everything I did."

"No, Victoria. I wasn't." He lied. Lied to protect himself. "Ray knew you had a gun. He wasn't going to let you get away. I saw them coming. I ran... I heard Ray shout... 'She's got a gun'..." his voice trailed away.

"So you took that bullet for me? Is that what you're saying?"

"That's precisely what I'm saying."

She nodded. "So I could get away."

"I was letting you go."

She closed her eyes. His face... the pained, horrified expression on his face. It wouldn't leave her. It wouldn't let her be. She stepped toward him. She reached for him. He jerked away. Her hand retreated slowly.

"I'm sorry." She said finally. "For everything."

He said nothing; just stared at her. Her hair was shorter now. Her eyes slightly dulled. She wore no makeup and her clothes were simple. God forgive him. He loved her still.

"So am I, Victoria." He said finally. "I loved you. More than anything."

"Not more than anything, Ben. Not more than the law. But you know what, that's OK. Because I wouldn't love you as I do if it were any different."

"I couldn't change it. After I committed to it..." He was trying to explain it to her. 

"I know."

"But you tried to-"

"You walked away from me Ben. I had just found you. Something totally different than anything I had ever had in my life. Something truly good and wonderful. And you walked away. I accepted what you had to do. But you never looked back. You didn't visit. You didn't offer any kind of support. I was so hurt. So sad. When I got out..." she paused, wiping tears from her cheeks. "I planned to ruin you Ben. I was angry, bitter. Prison didn't help that. But when I saw you in the street... I knew you had seen me. And that were looking for me. Being with you... Making love with you." Her voice trailed away again. Wiping still more tears. "I wasn't going to go through with it. I was just going to stop. Leave the money; forget about everything just to be with you. But then Jolly showed up. I didn't plan on Jolly showing. When he did, I had no choice. I'm not making excuses for myself, Ben. But you have to know that I tried to stop."

She got no response from him. No emotion. No expression.

"I went back to the Pass, you know. After I left on the train. I stayed there for a night and a day and another night."

He closed his eyes and let his breath out slowly.

"I wanted to kill myself. I thought you were dead. But somehow... being there... I knew you weren't. So that's when I hired the P.I."

"To spy on me."

"I just had to know."

"Everything that I was doing?" he asked emphatically.

She shook her head. "No. I cancelled his services after I learned of Thatcher."

"I haven't returned to the Pass." He said softly. 

"It was good for me. To remember those nights when nothing else mattered. When the Northern Lights were our only company. It was good to remember how cold I was... and the warmth of your body when you found me... How you fought to keep us both alive. I was content to die there with you. But then you stopped talking and I felt you dying... something clicked in me. I didn't want you to die."

"That's when you started talking to me."

"The poem..."

"I remember."

She smiled, serenely. "I wanted a life with you. And I believed that you were true... that I was your great love, as you were mine and that you'd wait. Selfish? Yes. Disappointed when you disappeared? You have no idea."

"I didn't think you would ever want to see me again. You did say that."

"That was my fear and anger talking."

"Well, I was listening."

She sat on the bed and sat down, picking up his Stetson as she did so. "You still never go anywhere without this, do you?"

"I suppose not. Force of habit." He then moved and sat next to her. She handed him his hat. They faced each other. There were still tears in her eyes. He forced himself out of his head. He took her in his arms and held her. She began weeping more forcefully now. 

"I'm sorry, Ben. I'm so sorry."

He stroked her hair. Tried to soothe her. "So am I, Victoria."

She broke away from him and faced him again. God, she wanted to kiss him. And she tried but he stopped her.

"I can't." He said. "It can never be like that again."

"Ben,"

"I love you, Victoria. I always will. But not like that. Not again."

She sighed. She knew he was right. "I understand."

He moved away from her and stood. 

"Please stay."

"I can't."

She looked at him then. "I know that I've put you in a difficult position. With the outstanding warrants..."

"Victoria,"

"Stay here with me tonight. I'm not asking anything from you. Just a little time more time with you."

 

 

Morning came. Brightly through the opened drapes. Fraser stared at Victoria sleeping soundly in his arms. They had talked most of the night. About everything. About nothing really. He could finally say goodbye now. 

"I'm going to Houston," she told him as she got herself together to leave. "I only ask one thing, Ben."

"That is."

"Give me one hour before you call Ray."

"Victoria, I was going with you"

"Don't say anything more." She pleaded with him. She went to him, smiling at him. "It's Ok, now. I finally know."

"Vic-"

She quieted him with a tender kiss. "Goodbye, Ben. Thank you."

She picked up her suitcase and left him there.

He sat there for an hour and then two. Peace finally overcoming his heart. He picked up the phone and dialed the 27th precinct. "Ray Vecchio please." Silence then for several minutes. Then Ray's voice greeting him. 

"Ray. We need to talk..."

The End.

 

 

 

I don't know about anyone else but it seems one out of every two songs somehow reminds me of Due South. 

This story inspired by the lyrics from MAD AS SNOW by Kitchens of Distinction.

Disclaimer-Again, I own NOTHING here.


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